TheWillpowerPodcast

Relapse Isn’t Failure: How Shame Almost Killed My Liver

Hey everybody, welcome back to The Willpower Podcast.I was a Boston teacher sneaking bottles, blacking out, and waking up yellow-eyed in a hospital bed with doctors telling my wife I had two weeks left. Liver and kidneys gone. Two transplants later I’m sober, but I still remember the crushing shame that kept pulling me back every time I slipped.Today Chris Cummins (operations at Laguna Treatment Center, biggest detox/recovery hospital in Orange County) gets it from the other side. He’s seen thousands walk in defeated after relapse, carrying the same shame that almost ended me.Chris shares his own raw story — starting shots at 11, snorting methadone in PE, his fraternity rock-bottom “united front” intervention — and why relapse is the disease talking, NOT failure. We break down how shame kills progress, why family systems keep the cycle going, the “pink cloud” trap after detox, and the gratitude hack that kills shame before it kills your recovery.This one’s for anyone who’s relapsed and hates themselves for it… or watching someone they love spiral.*Key moments:*00:00 — My shame story + Chris’s first words to relapsed patients02:31 — Chris’s childhood: 8 shots before school at 1112:51 — The “united front” rock bottom that saved us both15:18 — Why shame is a self-fulfilling prophecy (review the tape like an Olympian)19:47 — Family homeostasis — the #1 thing that makes relapse worse25:48 — Daily gratitude tool that actually kills shameIf this hits you or someone you love, drop a comment with your biggest takeaway — it helps more people than you know.#sobrietyjourney #relapserecovery #liverfailure #BeatShame #willpowerpodcast 📍CHAPTERS:00:00 — Welcome: My Yellow-Eyed Rock Bottom & Why Shame Keeps Us Stuck02:31 — Chris’s Story: First Shots at 11 & Building a Drinker Reputation12:51 — The “United Front” Intervention That Changed Everything15:18 — Relapse Isn’t Failure — Review the Tape Like an Olympian19:47 — Family Disease: Why Homeostasis Makes Relapse Almost Impossible22:11 — Chronic Relapse Programs & Value-Based Aftercare That Actually Works25:48 — The Daily Gratitude Tool That Kills Shame Before It Kills Recovery33:56 — Pink Cloud Warning & Why Most People Relapse After Discharge🔥 8 ACTIONABLE TAKEAWAYS!1. First words to someone who relapsed: “I’m glad you’re alive.” No shame — just hope.2. Shame is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Review the “tape” like a pro athlete instead of beating yourself up.3. Relapse is the disease talking — not a personal failure. Those 999 sober days still count.4. Change your environment AND include family in treatment. Homeostasis will pull you right back otherwise.5. Families: Stop hyper-vigilant blame. Open communication + shared accountability = real recovery.6. Chronic relapsers: Get into specialized groups with people who get it. Longer stays = better outcomes.7. Aftercare hack: Demand value-based agreements and open conversations between facilities.8. Daily tool: Start small with gratitude (“I’m grateful for this coffee”). It crowds out shame.Thank you all for listening/watching. I truly appreciate each and every one of you!

Hazelden Betty Ford: Real Recovery When Alcohol Wrecks Your Liver (Joseph Skrajewski)

This episode is part of *Podcasthon 2026* — thousands of podcasts dropping special episodes to spotlight nonprofits and raise funds for addiction recovery. I’m honored to feature Hazelden Betty Ford because their work saves lives and it’s personal for me.Joseph Skrajewski (National Director of Business Development – Healthcare Solutions at Hazelden Betty Ford) joins me for a raw, honest conversation about what actually works when alcohol is destroying bodies and families.We cover:* How alcohol wrecks the liver and relationships* Medical detox for cirrhosis, encephalopathy, and organ damage* The groundbreaking Sesame Street partnership for kids in addicted families* Rebuilding trust after addiction* Real hope stories and why you don’t have to hit rock bottomIf you’re in liver failure, watching someone you love spiral, or just stuck in the shame loop — this one’s for you.Hazelden Betty Ford Resources:https://www.hazeldenbettyford.orgTimestamps:00:00 Intro & Podcasthon 202601:00 Joseph’s background & recovery story03:10 Sesame Street partnership for kids04:08 Medical detox for liver damage07:04 Reaching out before it’s too late08:51 Real hope stories from families11:07 Free resources & how to get helpLike, subscribe, and share if this helped — every view supports Podcasthon’s mission.#Podcasthon2026 #HazeldenBettyFord #AddictionRecovery #LiverFailure #SoberParenting #SobrietyJourney #FamilyHealing

“Burnout Felt Like Relapse Fog” – Jon Gustin (@thetireddad) on Sobriety, Dad Life & New Book

Hey family, it's Will Gordon on The Willpower Podcast.Two years ago yellow-eyed in a hospital bed, kidneys/liver gone from blackouts—docs said two weeks. Two transplants later, sober, but I still know the numb fog when life's grinding you down.Jon Gustin—@thetireddad to over 2 million followers, gets it from the dad side. First kid in 2016 hit like a mirror: childhood stuff undone, marriage holes, alcohol numbing everything since age 14 (alcohol poisoning in ninth grade). Quit 2023 after tolerance exploded—now 3+ years sober, co-hosts The Tired Dad & Tired Mom Podcast with wife Jessica @the.tiredmom and his book "The Tired Dad" drops May 5 (pre-order now at http://tireddad.com—100 reflections on showing up exhausted, legacy, vulnerability; extras include 5 bonus reflections + curated soundtrack).We go deep:*Becoming a dad flipped everything: "Shit, figure life out"* Generational cycles: Breaking military-style discipline, no emotional connect* Sobriety grind: Dry Jan fails, first-year hell, stacking wins* Burnout like pre-relapse: Numb, isolated—family walks & kindness as reset* Shame/regret flip: "Past had to happen for present"* Legacy: Kids feel love through actions, not just wordsDads on fumes, anyone in recovery parenting, fighting numbness—this hits different. Liver transplant or dad burnout, the fight is showing up anyway.Support the channel 🙏💚 Every donation helps keep these stories coming, and reaching those who need it most ❤️‍🩹https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastTimestamps:00:00 – My transplant hell & Jon's dad mirror05:00 – Sobriety wake-up: Alcohol since 14, quit 202312:00 – Generational cycles: Breaking no-connect patterns20:00 – Burnout tools: Walks, kindness, getting uncomfortable30:00 – Book tease: 100 reflections on showing up40:00 – Legacy: Kids feel what you doDrop your takeaway: What's one cycle you're breaking? Tag a dad grinding. 👇National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (24/7 free)Follow Jon: IG/TikTok @thetireddad | Podcast: The Tired Dad & Tired MomPre-order book: http://tireddad.com (extras: soundtrack + bonus reflections)Subscribe for raw recovery stories. Much love,Will GordonTwo-time transplant survivor • Sober • Still fighting#tireddad #willpowerpodcast

Rare Liver Disease: Then Transplant, Sepsis & Rejection Nearly Broke Me – Daniel Eadle

I know transplant hell—yellow eyes, sepsis scares, rejection fears, the mental limbo after waking up with someone else's organ keeping you alive. Two transplants later, sober and fighting, but I still remember the grind.Today's guest? Daniel Eadle, UK dad, husband, multi-genre drummer, and CEO of his heating business. Diagnosed at 19 with PSC (primary sclerosing cholangitis) and autoimmune hepatitis—a rare, no-fault liver killer—he shrugged it off for over a decade, built his life, started a family, and kept pushing. Then April 2025: full liver transplant, sepsis, infections, massive rejection bouts, six weeks in hospital, ATG nuking his immune system. But he prepped like a beast (gym, nutrition, Perspectum scans), leaned on wife/kids, and came back drumming, running his company, and advocating proactive care so others don't wait for crisis.We talk raw:* Diagnosis at 19 with just a leaflet—Google spiral terror* 10 years grinding through flares, fatigue, yellow skin, varicose veins—still building business and family* No-judgment compassion: Why he never judged "drinking" livers in hospital—everyone's fighting something* Transplant call (three false alarms), high-risk surgery, mental crush no one preps you for* Post-op rejection terror: "Didn't think I was coming out"* Family fuel: Kids knowing everything, book "My Daddy Has Cirrhosis" to explain it all* Second-chance clarity: More active dad, less regrets on the tableIf you're facing chronic illness, waiting for transplant, supporting someone, or just need hope—this one's for you. Liver transplant's the same fight, alcohol or not.If you find value in what I'm doing. A coffee is a great way to show your appreciation. 💚http://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastTimestamps00:00 – My transplant parallels & intro to Daniel03:00 – Diagnosis at 19: Leaflet drop & shrugging it off08:45 – 10-year grind: Business, family, hidden fatigue14:20 – Jaundice stares & no-judgment on "drinking" livers19:50 – Proactive prep: Gym beast mode & Perspectum scans25:10 – Transplant call, high-risk surgery, mental fear31:00 – Sepsis, rejection, six weeks hospital hell37:40 – Post-transplant limbo & new normal42:00 – Advice: Ask questions, don't be scared—there's hopeDrop your takeaway below: What's one thing you're fighting proactively today? Tag a warrior who needs this.National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (24/7 free support)Follow Daniel: IG @daniel.eadle | TikTok @dddrummer (drumming vibes)PSC Support UK: http://pscsupport.org.ukPerspectum (scans): http://perspectum.comSubscribe for more raw recovery stories. Hit like/share if this hit. Much love,Will GordonTwo-time transplant survivor • Sober • Still here for you

Rewire Addicted Brain: Kill Cravings & Heal Fog | Dr. Tiff Thompson

Three years sober after a liver transplant that almost killed me... but the brain fog, guilt, and that constant pull back to chaos? Still real as hell.In this raw convo with Dr. Tiff Thompson (PhD neuro, neurotherapy CEO, BCN/QEEG expert), we break down why shame and tough love backfire in addiction recovery, how your brain gets wired for cravings (low GABA profiles, dopaminergic burnout, default mode network traps), and how neurotherapy/neurostimulation can actually rewire the damage...no meds, no nonsenseWe talk post-transplant fog, integrating your "shadow" old self, grieving lost identity, and starting with radical self-honesty. If you're sober but still struggling, or watching a loved one spiral, this hits home.Timestamps:0:00 - Cold Open: Moana's Monster – Acceptance Transforms Demons1:00 - Intro & My Transplant/Family Fallout Hell2:00 - Tiff's Journey: From Wind Farms to Neurotherapy Love5:00 - Why Shame/Blame Creates Resistance (Moana Scene Deep Dive)9:00 - Rock Bottom vs. Early Intervention with Curiosity12:00 - Addiction Scratches the Itch It Created – Yin-Yang Loop15:00 - Neurotherapy Explained: QEEG, Montages, Cutting Cravings/Withdrawal20:00 - Brain Fog & Trauma Post-Transplant: Wear & Tear, 100% Recuperation Potential25:00 - The "Torn Apart" Feeling: Old Chaotic Self vs. Higher Sober Self30:00 - Low GABA Genetic Profile – Why 1 in 10 Are Wired for Alcohol/Anxiety35:00 - Simple At-Home Start: See Yourself As You Are & Talk It Out40:00 - Wrap-Up & Vulnerability = ConnectionWould love your support 💚http://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastLinks:* School of Neurotherapy: https://www.schoolofneurotherapy.com* Neurofield Neurotherapy Clinic: https://www.neurofieldneurotherapy.com* Tiff Thompson: Search "Tiff Thompson Neurofield" for moreIf this episode hits, like, subscribe, comment your biggest takeaway (what's still pulling you back?), and share with someone who needs it.National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – free, 24/7.#Sobriety #AddictionRecovery #Neurotherapy #BrainFog #LiverTransplantRecovery #MentalHealth #WillpowerPodcast

Eyes Shutting Was the Best Part of My Day – Dan’s Brutal Path to Liver Transplant & Sobriety

Dan Sheridan (@mrsheridanshusband on TikTok, @danman147 on IG) shares the unfiltered story of drinking 18+ tins of Stella + 10 pints daily until liver failure nearly killed him.From blackout mornings, vomiting, re-drinking, a suicide-level paracetamol/Stella plan, massive GI bleed ("blood everywhere like stigmata"), to being told "plan your funeral," Dan fought through 3 years sober while on/off the transplant list.The miracle? Meeting his sober soulmate Claire on TikTok during end-stage liver disease-she researched live donation before even meeting him in person. They went from DMs to married in months, and he got his transplant just 1.5 months later.This is raw, no-BS recovery: ego check in recovery, why non-alcoholic beer can still be dangerous, masking pain from your spouse, and why "a life without alcohol is better" isn't just words-it's survival.If you're scared your drinking is heading toward liver failure, this is the episode for you.If you find value in these episodes, Id love a coffee to show support. Thanks! 🙏https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastTimestamps:0:00 - Intro & Dan's origin2:10 - The "hug that kills" - how alcohol tricks you5:45 - Meeting Claire on TikTok during end-stage liver disease8:58 - Warning signs ignored: shaking, jaundice too late12:22 - Suicide attempt & "eyes shutting was best part of my day"18:37 - GI bleed, 20% survival chance, "not today" defiance23:45 - Diagnosis, willpower delusion, most critical patient28:19 - 3 years sober pre-transplant - ego wake-up36:29 - Transplant day: "I'm all better" moment41:29 - Post-transplant reality: CMV, Crohn's, steroids, new normal46:16 - Daily self-love check & non-denominational recovery49:16 - Final advice: Stop waiting for the inevitableConnect with Dan:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mrsheridanshusbandInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/danman147/If you're struggling, *reach out:*National Helpline (US): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)UK: Drinkline 0300 123 1110 or Alcohol Change UKSubscribe for more real recovery stories. Hit like/share if this hit home. You're not alone. 💪#SoberLife #RecoveryJourney #LiverTransplant #AlcoholRecovery

Marine Vet’s End-Stage Liver Disease: From 317 lbs to Transplant Fight (MELD 29)

Andrew Mondragon — Marine veteran, dad, husband, oilfield worker — was diagnosed with end-stage liver disease in June 2025. Dropped from 317 to 190 lbs. MELD score 29. Accepted for liver transplant eval at OHSU. Still cracking jokes while fighting for his life and family.He shares the raw truth: the first signs (back pain, yellow eyes, 14 liters of fluid drained), functional alcoholism (4 shots Fireball + 2 beers nightly), denial, shame, family guilt, Marine Corps influence on suppressing emotions, and his current optimism despite the waiting game.If you're facing addiction, liver issues, or watching someone you love go through it then this episode is for you. Real, no sugarcoating, full of fight.Trigger Warning: Liver failure, addiction, family impact, transplant discussion.Help is available: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) | 1-800-662-HELP (SAMHSA) | http://befrienders.org (international)*Timestamps:*00:00 – Intro & Andrew's Story01:00 – First Signs (March 2025 – Back Pain & Yellow Eyes)04:00 – Diagnosis: Decompensated Liver Cirrhosis05:30 – Mental Fog, Fluid Buildup, MELD 2907:00 – Andrew's Background: Marine Corps, Oil Fields, Sheriff09:00 – Functional Alcoholism & Denial12:00 – Transplant Reality & Survivor's Guilt15:00 – Positive Outlook & Future Hope18:00 – Family Impact & Kids20:00 – The Waiting Game & Paracentesis22:00 – Fears & Cellular Memory25:00 – Message to Viewers Fighting AddictionFollow Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/komododrew/(Instagram)https://buymeacoffee.com/thewillpowerpodcastFree 30-min Sober Mentoring: https://calendly.com/thewillpowerpodcast/30min* _Donate:_ * https://buymeacoffee.com/willpowerpodcastSubscribe, like, share if this hit home. More real stories coming.#LiverTransplant #EndStageLiverDisease #SoberJourney #MarineVet #AddictionRecovery #WillpowerPodcast #MELDScore

Amber Hollingsworth: No Tough Love – Early Intervention for Families

Amber Hollingsworth @PutTheShovelDown a master addiction counselor with 700k+ on YouTube, joins me to show families how to intervene early with compassion, not ultimatums or tough love.We talk:* The myth that “there’s nothing you can do”* Functional alcoholism & enabling traps* Real boundaries (rules for yourself, not control)* Why waiting for rock bottom is dangerous* Rebuilding trust after sobriety* Hope for relapse (“it’s just a blip”)If you’re a parent, spouse, or sibling feeling helpless, stuck, or like you’re enabling — this episode is for you. Amber breaks it down clearly and kindly.If you or someone you love is struggling, help is available 24/7:• US – 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: https://988lifeline.org (call/text/chat)• US – SAMHSA National Helpline: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline | 1-800-662-HELP• Al-Anon (family support for alcoholism): https://al-anon.org• Nar-Anon (family support for drug addiction): https://www.nar-anon.org• Canada – 988 Crisis Line: https://988.ca• Global helplines: https://www.befrienders.orgGrateful to Amber for coming on and sharing this wisdom. ❤️@PutTheShovelDown #FamilyRecovery #NoToughLove #BoundariesWithEmpathy #SoberJourney #AddictionRecovery #WillpowerPodcast

Blackout Knife Night & Suicide Attempt: Ryan Barrett’s Dark Redemption (2+ Years Sober)

Ryan Barrett (@ryanbarrett90) should be dead multiple times over: molested at 8, buried the shame in death metal, rebellion, blackouts, hard drugs, a near-fatal car wreck (femur shattered in 7 places), suicide attempt, yellow eyes, and a blackout knife night that almost ended everything.One morning he poured out his last glass of spiced rum, begged for help, and got sober for real. Now 2+ years sober, engaged, raising two kids, hitting the gym, restored faith in Jesus, bought a house, and uses his hell to help troubled youth every day.This is raw, dark redemption - perfectly timed for anyone fighting the last third of Dry January or any day really. If you've ever felt hopeless, watch this.*Trigger Warning:*Childhood trauma, suicide attempt, self-harm, addiction details. Help is available:US: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) | 1-800-662-HELP (SAMHSA)Canada: 988 or text HOME to 741741International:http://befrienders.org*Timestamps:*00:00 - Intro: From Molestation to Near-Death Multiple Times01:00 - Age 8: Sexual Molestation & The Pact of Silence03:00 - Rebellion, Death Metal, Weed → Booze → Harder Drugs05:00 - Car Wreck at 19 (Femur Shattered) - Still Partied07:00 - Self-Hate & Setting Himself Up for Punishment09:00 - Suicide Attempt: Rope Around Neck, Phone Rings12:00 - Blackout Knife Night: Waking Up in Blood15:00 - Poured Out the Last Spiced Rum - Stopped Drinking That Day17:00 - Living in Party House, No Urges, Found Meditation20:00 - Relapse After 2+ Years: "I Thought I Could Moderate"23:00 - Split for 3 Months - Got Sober Again25:00 - Restoring Faith in Jesus & Church Community28:00 - Helping Troubled Youth with His Own Hell30:00 - Message to the Guy on Day 7 of Dry January32:00 - If Blackout Ryan Saw This Life Now...Follow Ryan: @ryanbarrett90 (Instagram - open book on recovery)Support the channel ❤️ Every donation helps. Bless you all that donate🙏Buy Me a Coffee:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/willpowerpodcastSubscribe, like, share if this hit home. More real stories coming.#SoberJourney #DarkRedemption #RecoveryStory #DryJanuary #WillpowerPodcast #RyanBarrett

3-Week Coma & Yellow Eyes: ’I Was Done – No Fight Left’ | Mike Faria (@jerzeymike)

Mike Faria (@jerzeymike) shares his raw journey – from guilt over his cousin's drunk driving death, 5 years of daily drinking, to a 3-week coma in 2020 with yellow eyes, fluid buildup, kidneys failing, and doctors prepping his family for the worst.He woke up anyway, got sober on August 23, 2022, rebuilt his body, his family, met the love of his life, and became the family man he always intended to be. Mike's the kind of guy who shares his story raw on Instagram to keep others alive.This episode is real, no sugarcoating – grief, denial, rock bottom, the moment his son gave him purpose, and the miracle of his liver recovery. If you're struggling or know someone who is, this one's for you.Trigger Warning:*Coma, alcohol withdrawal, grief, self-harm ideation.Help available:US Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)Canada: 988 (or 1-833-456-4566)Timestamps:00:00 – Intro & Mike's Early Chaos00:58 – Guilt Over Cousin & Daily Drinking03:36 – 5-Year Binge & Rock Bottom05:16 – Son as Turning Point07:45 – Darkest Night & Self-Destruction09:29 – Morning of Reckoning (Yellow Eyes)11:34 – 3-Week Coma & Waking Up15:06 – Hope from Dr. Raquel19:42 – Hospital Struggles & Compassion25:14 – "You Can't Do It Alone" Message26:57 – Surrender & The Lock Inside29:45 – Life Now: Clarity & Pride32:10 – Losses as Wins34:39 – Closing & Where to Find MikeFollow Mike: @jerzeymike (Instagram/Threads – raw sobriety inspiration)support the podcast ❤️Buy Me a Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/willpowerpodcastSober Mentoring (free 30-min chat):https://calendly.com/thewillpowerpodcast/30minSubscribe, like, share if this moved you. More real stories coming.